She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
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I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
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Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
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