Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize