when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
this boner is exhausting
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
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