My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
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