I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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