Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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