fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
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