I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
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Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize