In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
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