The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize