im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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