Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize