Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
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