I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize