Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We need to feng shui this bitch.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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