You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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