no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize