Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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