If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
dude. I can hear the air.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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