I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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