Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
dude. I can hear the air.
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