i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
thus making me awesome and them whores
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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