So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He kissed a someone with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize