How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
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His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
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It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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