Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
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i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
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