I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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