Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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