fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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