So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize