Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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