I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize