Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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