The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
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