She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
How external is "for external use only"?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize