Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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