took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
My ass is underappreciated
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize