you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
He did a backflip because drugs
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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