I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize