Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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