Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize