You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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