as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize