so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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