Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
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Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
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I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
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