So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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