when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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