um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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