She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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