just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
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