ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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